This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
