Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize