he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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