You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
