Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
