I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
be right there i have to get my cape
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
