that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
