You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
