So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have post one night stand depression
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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