she woke up with a sticky ear
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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