I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
