do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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