THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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