All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
