No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
