Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
