All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
