i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
