I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
