I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
