handjob tips. give me some.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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