just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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