I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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