I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
