I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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