When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize