Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
