Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
