I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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