The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
