He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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