my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have aggressive nipples.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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