just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
