it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
