You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
