): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
