I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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