They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
