I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
