i barfeds in our rink
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
