Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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