The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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