You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize