Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
