so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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