He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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