Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
