im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
