Will you blow on my dice?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
