I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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