those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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